dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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