What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You left your underwear on the fireplace
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
