Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
