I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
