sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
