Nicole vs. Life
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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