And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
