if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
