I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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