If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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