I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
