Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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