on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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