So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
