I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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