with your own penis?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
