You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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