your room smells of hookers.
And success
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
