Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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