chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
