it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
