I will die if light touches me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
