between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
