In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
