I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I look better un-naked...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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