so that wasnt chicken after all
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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