Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
