Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
