cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
