College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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