it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
