no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
