I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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