Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
