Midget sex pt 2 tonight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
