He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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