my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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