ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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