Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
