Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
