I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
