i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
