i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
