he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
