the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
