Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
