sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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