You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What a fucking waste of an outfit
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
