Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
