So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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