Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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