im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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