Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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